one leg each

"Dear Jim...."

It was the ultimate childhood wish to the be-tracksuited Saturday night Santa Claus: “Dear Jim, I’m from Boro me like, a horrible smoggy town in the north etc etc (you had to have a good sob story to be in with a chance with Jim). Please can you fix it for me to swim with dolphins?”

 Predictably, Jim didn’t fix it for my 10 year old self, but  he did teach me a valuable lesson – In this life, you have to paddle your own canoe! 

And so it was, 20 years later, that I find myself, not in a canoe exactly but about to realise a life long dream nevertheless (up yours Jim!): The dusky dolphins of Kaikoura were in the bay and ready to play!

We were lucky, it was an awesome day: sunny, clear and bright. Unfortunately this had no bearing whatsoever on the absolutely Baltic sea temperature. We were kitted out from head to toe in some sort of moon monkey waterproof outfit, complete with a Micheal Jackson-eque fitted jacket which tapered into a velcroed crotch and a gimp-like snood. Unfortuntely, no pictures of this appear to have survived (not wanting to detract from the dolphins!) and so you’ll have to take my word for it!

If my experience from the west coast of Oz taught me anything, it’s that I hate cold sea water. But then again hundreds of dolphins aren’t waiting to say hello every day of the week either. The dolphins won out.

 
Lorrall Dolphins 

 We ploughed in and immediately I felt like I was having some sort of panic attack, couldn’t catch my breath, was floundering all over the place etc etc .But it was just a reaction to the cold and once my body was completely numb I could get on with the matter in hand!

Face in the water, hands by sides whilst emulating a dolphin with a butterfly kick and “singing” them a little song into the snorkel were all apparently fool proof ways to attract the dolphin to you, personally I think they were just having a good laugh at the spectacle on the boat..but by jove it worked!

The first one zipped past from behind, so close I could have reached out and grabbed his fin and gone for a little ride. Amazing. And a little squeal of shock and pleasure may have come out in the process.

  Go flipper go!

 Then I caught the attention of two who wanted to play. The idea was to try and catch their eye and swim in circles, then they apparently swam around you. These guys were going round and round with dizzying effects!

They were literally hundreds of dolphins around and so it wasn’t long before all the excitement got them back-flipping, front somersaulting and just jumping straight out of the sea and into the air. But my best bit was being on my own at the front of the boat, with about five or six dolphins just zig-zagging round me, like we were in our own private little game.

 Upside down and roundabout

In the end we hooked up with three different types of dolphin: dusky, common and hector and coming face to face or more to the point eye to eye with these amazing animals and seeing intelligence behind those eyes was quite simply amazing. A highlight worth the wait, so in the end I had Jim to thank for that!

5 things i've learnt about New Zealand

1. NZ – it’s weird but wonderful.

Arriving into the land of hobbits everything felt very strange. This was no doubt compounded by the fact we were staying in a converted Jail on the outskirts of Christchurch, but even so our first taste of New Zealand, was just, well weird. The first 2 towns we visited were Christchurch and Akaroa – the first felt like an English Theme City, with punting on the river Avon and neo-gothic university buildings while the second was a fake French costal town replete with the Tricolore at full mast, Rue’s instead of roads and boulangeries dotting the main street – we didn’t come across ay French speakers… The people however are great – a fine example being caught speeding only for the police officer letting go the $80 fine on the condition that I spend the money on taking Faye out!! Even when Faye had a nasty case of food poisoning our Kiwi hosts were on hand to stoke a fire and let her recuperate in one of their historic cabins. But c’mon, the accent though – it’s not the most aurally pleasing, Fush and Chups, sucks instead of 6 and my personal favourite being the Clussic Huts radio station who’s DJ’s “aren’t famous or anything, but at least they turn up”!! Ha ha, Gold.

 
Proceed straight to Jail, do not collect £200.

2. Awesome scenery, not to everyone’s taste.

Nothing so far on the trip has divided us more than the New Zealand scenery, is it beautiful or just a lot of brown hills? However it is amazing how much they’ve packed into the South Island though, the scale of the mountains certainly belies the countries size. I have definitely been impressed – it’s certainly barren in places, but the amazing turquoise lakes Tekapo and Pukaki made for a stunning sights and the drive from Queenstown to Glenorchy made a lasting impression too.

Faye is unimpressed by the NZ scenery... 

3. Queenstown, the Kidults playground.

Whose idea was Queenstown anyway? A mind-boggling array of adventure adrenalin activities unlike anywhere we’d been before! It got off to a blinding start by just having some other people - it was by far the most commercial town we’d visited but I think we were both in agreement that we needed an injection of life to supplement the mountains. The problem is there is so much temptation you could easily burn £500 in a few days here – a wicked imagination couple with awesome natural surrounds makes for the ultimate big kids playground. The menu of thrills was certainly mouth-watering! We opted for a starter of Luge racing, followed by a main course of Bungy Canyon Swing all washed down with a glass of green glacier water in the form of the Shotover Jet Boat! AMAZING - The Canyon Bungy Swings is easily the scariest thing I’ve done, having to push yourself slowly backwards on a chair into a 110m canyon is just not good for the heart – all the time brilliantly teased and tormented by the staff.

Genuinely thought i'd shat myself...

4. We’re not very good at hiking.

This is what people come to NZ for but previously when we’d taken a wrong turn on a trek It had never been our fault, but on attempting a 4 hour return trip up the side of Mount Cook (800m accent) I realised, that maybe we just aren’t very good at this. The path lead steeply up the side of the mountain before splitting in 2 – no signs to direct us, we took the path that went straight up - a small mistake. 20 mins later we were scrambling through bushes, hauling our self up the mountain with only a few dead ferns to hold on to, it took us clinging onto the side of the sheer mountain face, as it began to hail, that maybe, just maybe this isn’t the right path. Whatever path we had followed it wasn’t aimed at a causal walker crowd, but we did make it to the top, the cloud cleared and all was forgotten.

The view that we had made such hard work of... 

5. Don’t leave it too late to book your campervan!

I’d done my research (and maybe a bit too much mincing) without actually pressing the ‘book’ button – but we’d gotten such a good deal in Oz by waiting till the last min… oh dear. Everyone meet Quasimodo, now Bruce was no looker but c’mon…

Quasimodo - a lesson for us all. 

A 1991 Ford complete with 70’s look wood interior is one thing, but old Quasi was turning into such a dog to drive that it started to turn me into a green eyed monster every time we arrived at a campsite! Yeah I’m still not over it.

South Island done… EVERYONE says that the North bears no comparison, is it just the racist jibs about the amount of pacific influence up there? Or is it really the poor relation?

To be continued…

Fleurs Place, NZ

NZ got off to a bit of a slow start. Part Sydney hang-over, part culture shock. I heard lots about how “beautiful” NZ was, so I wasn’t really prepared for the unending parade of brown hills, wheat fields and anachronistic towns, that may have made me feel homesick, had I been born in the 1850’s.

One of our first stops was at the Moeraki boulders, perfectly spherical specimens which looked like they had just been washed up on the beach. There is a whole natural history erosion story behind their unique formation, but I prefer the Maori version of events which has cast them as food baskets washed ashore from a ship wrecked canoe – much more romantic and blog-worthy!

 Moerakai boulders

 Anyway, the boulders were a nice break from the brown and feeling on a roll I suggested calling into a place, Fleurs Place  to be exact, just for a little look-see as I had heard it was something special in the fish department, before heading off to Shag point for some penguin and seal spotting.

Faye trying to p-p-p pick up a penguin 

Fleurs Place is in Moeraki village, a tiny blot on the landscape with a lighthouse and little else, but perched on the edge of a shaggy cove is the charismatic but slightly ramshackle converted fishing shack. We went for our look-see at about 3pm, way after lunch and the place was still packed. I had to go! Especially after seeing the signed photo of Rick Stein enjoying his fish supper nestled into a cosy corner. We had a little chat to Fleur and she squeezed us in for the second sitting.

 

 The converted fishing shack/gold mine of Fleurs Place 

 We arrived all excited at around 8pm and settled in for a drink at the bar, whilst unashamedly eye-balling the mouth watering creations coming from the kitchen – we weren’t alone, everyone was doing it! And it created a lovely warm environment based on “I’ll have what she’s having! Oh, and what’s that over there…..”

Fleurs Place was the most uncontrived place we had seen so far and fitted in so perfectly with it’s surroundings, which is probably why it felt so homely, comfortable and right. None of this “punting” on the river with straw boaters for Fleur, this was an organic creation, born from the NZ way.   

The menu stated that the “fish was fresh, local and caught that morning, gutted by the fisherman and washed only in salt water- this is why it tastes so good” And boy did it taste good!

After all the hype, it would have been only natural to have experienced an anti-climax when we did actually get to eat, but far from it, the food way exceeded our expectations.

I ordered the green lipped NZ mussels mariniere. When they arrived, it felt like I had been transported to the land of the giants, only in this land, mussels reigned supreme and I was a mere Liliputian attempting to conquer the giant molluscs set before me (Ok, so I have mixed up my literature but you get the picture!) Oh, and it was the most superlative combination of seafood, vineyard and dairy ever to grace to a plate.

 
Moules and Warehou at Fleurs Place 

Rob had a local fish called Warehou,cooked maniere with a lime and caper sauce which came beautifully presented in a highly polished abalone shell. Well, let’s just say, I didn’t hear any complaints from that side of the table!  

So NZ was looking up! It had just banked the best meal of the holiday so far, maybe there were some little gems tucked behind these brown hills…..

 
 Nice brown hills in NZ