one leg each

Behind Closed Doors

It’s 9.30 on a Saturday night in Buenos Aires, and we are waiting outside la peurta cerrada (closed door) of a residential house in the neighbourhood of Chacarita.

We have invited ourselves into the home of Deigo and Sanra and tonight they are making us supper. Although “supper” could be selling short the five course tasting menu, created from ingredients sourced from as close as their back garden to the most far flung parts of South America.

 We were given the warmest of welcomes and ushered into the beautiful courtyard to catch up with the other guests over aperitifs of Lemon Verbena Clerico, amid the big question of “how did you ever find out about us?”  

  A mixture of Argentines, Europeans and Canadians were mingling over drinks whilst wandering around the courtyard, herb garden and of course where the magic happens…the kitchen. As for the hosts, despite being in the midst of creating dinner for 12, as yet strangers, the atmosphere was so relaxed and one of several friends throwing together brunch, whilst simultaneously answering all manner of questions about the food, the concept and how we all ended up here!

 
 Courtyard at Casa Felix

 An amuse bouche of bok choy, paico and squash flowers. was served to tantilise the tastebuds and amid flowing conversation we were ushered into the quaint candlelight dining or should I say “front” room. 

 
 Amuse bouche...certainly is amusing!  

I should mention that after being stuffed to the gunnels with steak for the last few weeks, we were glad to find out that this was a pescatarian casa and that the menu had been designed with healthy fresh ingredients, each course coming with a commentary on the origins of the food, how they came to encounter it and why they wanted to share it.

First up then was a spicy peanut Bolivian soup, a spicy little monkey not dissimilar to it’s Indonesian satay counterpart and utterly delicious.

Bolivian peanut soup

We then got to sample their loot from a jaunt to Salta, a province in the North of Argentina, which came in the form of an Andean Potato Tasting course! Four different types of potatoes, dressed and presented in four different ways. Definitely risqué, but on consideration we decided that it was a fitting tribute to the humble potato – this is where Sir Walter Raleigh swiped the first British bound potato after all, and changed our turnip eating habits forever!

Diego enlightened us as to the 250 varieties of potato cultivated in South America today, (such a shame there were no Irish guests tonight!) and among our carefully chosen selection came the ullocos which were sweet and had the consistency of a beetroot and the green ullocos which looked like they belonged more to the olive family. 

So with the Andean potatoes firmly under our belt (so to speak!), we proceeded to the main course of calamari stuffed peppers, humita cream and suico pesto – an interesting melange of European and South American, which was delicious but didn’t leave much room for the squash and coconut milk pie with quinoa crust for dessert! Not a problem in itself, as dessert unfortunately looked like a plate of fancy sweet potato mash and after the quadruple complex carb course that had preceded it, it was one member of the starch family too many for one meal!

Squash and coconut milk pie 

And so the evening came to an end just as it had started; buena onda (good vibes), drink in hand and chatting food and travel with our fellow supperclubbers. We’d had a top notch, non-meat orientated dinner, which in Argentina is no mean feat and we’d managed to sneak a peak behind the beautiful closed door of the new wave of BA foodie elite.

 

The Silence of the Lambs

Argentina is famous for many things, no more so than it’s amazing beef, however this pursuit of glory does seem to have had an adverse effect on other areas of its culinary repertoire. 

While it is still a mystery how the general public aren’t grossly overweight due to their massive red meat intake, we realised that we’d soon be returning home with sizable hogs  unless we mixed it up a little, something that proved a bit of a waste of time!

While attempting to broaden our horizons we tried Mexican (Stodgy and tasteless) Italian (Very stodgy and tasteless) and even Fondue (Rubbish!) So why is the food so bland? Well some of the blame can be attached to a fear of anything remotely spicy – even black pepper is treated with widespread contempt and is only available in the imported food section in the supermarket. This is a country of Italian immigrants, but apart from awesome ice cream the culinary comparisons were looking a little embarrassing.

A lemon pie ice cream , oh yes...

After a few failed attempts at home-cooking, we gave in and took ourselves out for a Carnes Mix Parillia, to put and end to all this crap food.

La Tablina 

La Tablina was smart and atmospheric and we decided on a slightly gluttonous order of the famed Patagonian Lamb, flanked by bife de Chorizo and bife de Lomo, you know, just to be on the safe side. We’d also heard great things about the Papas Fritas Provencales, so they joined the ranks, for research purposes only you understand.

The whole 9 yards 

When you’re spoiled by such outstanding beef, there is a danger of becoming blasé about it, but even by their very high standards this was excellent. The Bife de Chorizo (Sirloin) was cooked perfectly, pink all the way through, and the crispy fat was cooked so well that it tempted even Faye. The Bife de Lomo (Fillet) was also superb, but all were upstaged by the star of the show, the Patagonian Lamb. It was simply out of this world, to the point that all previous Lamb seemed dull by comparison. We started with the bones, the meat falling off it at the merest suggestion, so tender and sooooo dammed tasty.

This was around half-time... 

After our experience with the Frog Scratchings in Vietnam, we both knew that eating essentially just animal fat, is naughty but extremely delicious, well the crispy lamb fat that complemented the dish raised the bar higher still. It was cooked to a perfect crisp - achieved by stretching the spread-eagled lamb across a bed of flame red coals - the ideal accompaniment to every succulent mouthful of Lamb, or beef for that matter! If this wasn’t enough the chips were a match for the meat, cooked in white wine and finished with garlic and parsley, they ranked as easily the best on the trip so far… and believe me, we’d tried ‘em all.

Lamb phat

Leaving the restaurant I was tempted to fall to one side and have Faye roll me out, such was our intake of food, but manners got the better of me and we just made our way out, slowly passing the Parillia (Grill) to catch the aroma of more Lamb being prepared… it was certainly all I could see, smell and taste as I fell asleep that night!

Patagonian Lamb... done!

The 'Real' Gaucho Grill

Horse riding in Patagonia was all Robs’ idea. I think he fancied himself as a bit of a John Wayne or a Clint Eastwood: Man and beast alone against the rugged Patagonian wilds. Ha! Brokeback mountain more like!

Brokeback Bert 

I was a bit dubious, it’s been a while since I had last mounted a trusty stead and the day before we had completed a 26k (very hilly!) bike ride so the derriere was already starting to protest. But I needn’t have worried, arriving at el estancia felt like coming home and once in the saddle the horse whisperer in me took over…. ah, if only! I have about as much horse riding experience as I do speaking Spanish ie nada! and naturally I was stuck with the naughty, aptly named horse “el torro” (bull), who was fond of doing all those naughty horse things that leave novice riders hanging on for dear life, like bucking his reigns, galloping when we were supposed to be walking and riding straight towards massive trees that he just about managed to duck under but which nearly swiped me from my seat!

   Sulking like a spoilt 13 year old - "i want that one daddy!" 

 
El Torro

Luckily the Great Outdoors awaited and the landscape was vast, rugged and straight out of a Wild West film, as a result I think that more than one of us had our internal soundtrack set to “Rawhide!” Apart from Rob, who confessed his default setting was Black Beauty….in slow mo (even poor old Heath would be turning in his grave at that one) Our guide and ranch owner, the enigmatic Carol Jones, is a bit of a legend in these parts as her grand-father aided and abetted that old rouge and his mate Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid when they were on the run in Argentina, way back when the stuff of Wild West films was just normal every day life.

Wild West Argentina  

As any Gaucho will tell you horse riding is hungry work and 2 hours in we pitched up at a spot that looked like it had played host to a few asados (that’s a BBQ to me and you) in it’s time. A basic fire pit with some makeshift seats made from old tree trunks awaited us – lunch was on its way! Carol and her compadre, el gaucho produced some large squishy packages from the saddle bags only to promptly disappear off into the bush to scavenge for fire wood whilst we all sat bemused around the old ashes.

 
El fire pit 

Argentinian Asado is perhaps one of the most exciting things we have come across in all our travels – Ozzie BBQ? pah! You can find them in even the lowliest of towns and they are always good. A combination of amazing quality beef and excellent bbq-ing technique that created a crisp, smoky delicious outer shell whilst the inside is jugoso and as bloody as hell!

Such was our fascination, that the previous evening with the help of a Texan, (another nationality with a claim to the BBQ crown) we had even tried to recreate the magic at our hostel and it had taken us 3 hours to light the fire and get the coals to the right  temperature so I was interested to see how they were going to achieve the perfect asado within the lunch hour!

 

I needn’t have worried, we were in the hands of professionals and soon we had a roaring fire, and from a bush el gaucho produced a grill that he planted in the ground over a patch of earth next to the fire. Once the wood has started to turn white hot he scraped off the top layer and spread it on the ground under the grill et voila! We were ready for the meat….

 
Whoop! there it is!

From out of the saddle bags came 4 different cuts of meat which, put mildly, looked like the sum parts of half a cow. The boys were dribbling in anticipation and everyone unconsciously undid a notch on their belt. Except the vegetarian, who we all agreed needed to get a life!

 
Aussies take note... 

Lunch was served with a plastic cup of red wine and a light salad of dressed cabbage – no point in filling up on peripheries when there was a bonafide meat feast with your name on it. I wish I knew what the cuts of meat were but unfortunately my Spanish wasn’t good enough to divine the details. I do know that they were fresh from the cow on the very ranch upon which we were riding and all totally delicious and yet completely different. Amazing.

So there we have it. Yee-haw! Our day in the life of a cowboy. And I think Rob will agree that even if he didn’t exactly get to ride like a cowboy, he certainly got to eat like one. No-one ever said that Brokeback cowboys can’t enjoy a good steak!

Fleurs Place, NZ

NZ got off to a bit of a slow start. Part Sydney hang-over, part culture shock. I heard lots about how “beautiful” NZ was, so I wasn’t really prepared for the unending parade of brown hills, wheat fields and anachronistic towns, that may have made me feel homesick, had I been born in the 1850’s.

One of our first stops was at the Moeraki boulders, perfectly spherical specimens which looked like they had just been washed up on the beach. There is a whole natural history erosion story behind their unique formation, but I prefer the Maori version of events which has cast them as food baskets washed ashore from a ship wrecked canoe – much more romantic and blog-worthy!

 Moerakai boulders

 Anyway, the boulders were a nice break from the brown and feeling on a roll I suggested calling into a place, Fleurs Place  to be exact, just for a little look-see as I had heard it was something special in the fish department, before heading off to Shag point for some penguin and seal spotting.

Faye trying to p-p-p pick up a penguin 

Fleurs Place is in Moeraki village, a tiny blot on the landscape with a lighthouse and little else, but perched on the edge of a shaggy cove is the charismatic but slightly ramshackle converted fishing shack. We went for our look-see at about 3pm, way after lunch and the place was still packed. I had to go! Especially after seeing the signed photo of Rick Stein enjoying his fish supper nestled into a cosy corner. We had a little chat to Fleur and she squeezed us in for the second sitting.

 

 The converted fishing shack/gold mine of Fleurs Place 

 We arrived all excited at around 8pm and settled in for a drink at the bar, whilst unashamedly eye-balling the mouth watering creations coming from the kitchen – we weren’t alone, everyone was doing it! And it created a lovely warm environment based on “I’ll have what she’s having! Oh, and what’s that over there…..”

Fleurs Place was the most uncontrived place we had seen so far and fitted in so perfectly with it’s surroundings, which is probably why it felt so homely, comfortable and right. None of this “punting” on the river with straw boaters for Fleur, this was an organic creation, born from the NZ way.   

The menu stated that the “fish was fresh, local and caught that morning, gutted by the fisherman and washed only in salt water- this is why it tastes so good” And boy did it taste good!

After all the hype, it would have been only natural to have experienced an anti-climax when we did actually get to eat, but far from it, the food way exceeded our expectations.

I ordered the green lipped NZ mussels mariniere. When they arrived, it felt like I had been transported to the land of the giants, only in this land, mussels reigned supreme and I was a mere Liliputian attempting to conquer the giant molluscs set before me (Ok, so I have mixed up my literature but you get the picture!) Oh, and it was the most superlative combination of seafood, vineyard and dairy ever to grace to a plate.

 
Moules and Warehou at Fleurs Place 

Rob had a local fish called Warehou,cooked maniere with a lime and caper sauce which came beautifully presented in a highly polished abalone shell. Well, let’s just say, I didn’t hear any complaints from that side of the table!  

So NZ was looking up! It had just banked the best meal of the holiday so far, maybe there were some little gems tucked behind these brown hills…..

 
 Nice brown hills in NZ 

 

 

West-side Dining, Australia

Before our culinary horizons were limited to beans on the camping stove, we did have a few chances in WA to get stuck into some proper Aussie grub, including some bush tucker. Enough to know anyway that the standard, especially in the cities, is very high (so are the prices, hence the beans!) and that this is a country of foodies!

 Food quality and creativity are top notch which has spawned a style of cooking coined as Mod Oz, taking the cream of local produce, seafood for example, and spinning a slick new twist on an Asian or traditional classic.

Well, I always think, if you are going to try something new, might as well go to  the best place in town! And so off I headed with the girls to Cocos, a Perth institution, as well known for its stunning views over the Swan River and the city, as for its food.

Scallops were the order of the day – as big as 50p pieces, crispy on the outside and opaque and succulent on the inside dressed with a light shredded asian salad  and all washed down with a Mad Fish Semillion Blanc from Margaret River. The high life eh! Little did I know that this would be a last supper of sorts, but at least I went out in style!

 

 
The view of Perth from Cocos

 

But it hasn’t all been fine dining, we are in Australia after all, and if someone was willing to tie the kangaroo down (sport), then I was willing to eat it!

“Little Creatures” in Freo happily obliged and we were presented with our first kangaroo dinner! Skewered, marinated in rosemary and griddled on the barbie, they came with a spicy tomato salsa. It sounded interesting on paper, but I still wasn’t quite sure what was in store.

 Luckily, expectations were more than exceeded, the meat was tender and flavoursome and what’s more you can’t mention ‘roo without an Aussie launching into the amazing health giving properties of the meat so it’s a bonza feed all round! This meal doesn’t come guilt free however, Skippy is one cute marsupial after all, but “when in Rome,” as they say! 

 

The 'Roo

 

As a northern English lass I pride myself on being able to spot a good chip at twenty paces and in Perth my cup runneth over. Perth do the best chips ever – skins on, crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside and sprinkled generously with rock salt. Mwoah! (lip smacking sound!) We just spent our last night in Perth with a fish and chips supper and a bottle of wine, taking in an awesome pink sunset on Cottesloe beach. A perfect end to an absolutely amazing month in WA.

 

Sunset and chips at Cottesloe Beach, Perth

 

If I have been won over by the Aussie chip, the ‘pie for breakfast’ initiation was one tradition that I was most definitely resisting, that is until Rosie, our hostess with the mostess, showed me the error of my ways. Her Kiwi bacon and egg pie was a master-class in taking five simple ingredients and turning them into a new, but somehow already familiar, favourite. Definitely a recipe that will be reappearing in the Yorkshire Dales as part of the new world kitchen repertoire!

There is definitely something very welcoming and homely about pies, which is maybe why our next aimiable hosts “The Swinglers” took up the mantle on our arrival. What better way to greet your guests, than to arrive at your destination after a long days drive and have a roast lamb dinner and home-made apricot pie, made with fruit fresh from the tree outside, waiting for you? The perfect welcome to the people from “The Old Country”.

 

Swinglers kitchen in Denmark and Gordon the best tour guide ever

 

Oysters at Xanadu winery in Margaret River.

Oysters are a funny one. The general idea doesn’t appeal, but I approach trying new food like listening to a new album; you have to try it out a few times before you can really tell if you like it or not.

The oysters that I had a ‘Margies’ ticked all the boxes, pleasing to the eye as well as the taste buds. They came nestled on a bed of rock salt and topped with a subtle Bloody Mary relish. Such was their appeal, that instead of just launching them down, I gave each one several slow chews and savoured the taste of the ocean. A real eye opener of how an oyster can be.

 

New Years Eve Carpaccio of Beef Jamie Oliver Style

As you know, I like to congratulate myself for a job well done in the kitchen and the NYE carpaccio of beef is no exception! Of course, I didn’t work alone and my ‘little helper’ stepped up to the plate too!

We went for a British twist on the Aussie barbie tradition by seasoning a whole fillet of beef, searing it on the barbie and then slicing it finely carpaccio style and serving it with a horseradish dressing and rocket and roast tomato salad.

 This was a NYE and thank you dinner for our great Xmas hosts The Bradburys (yes, and a bon voyage for you too Jake!).

Great dinner, awesome company – perfect combination!

 

NYE carpaccio of beef - Jamie Oliver would be proud!

 

 

The NYE Brigade

 

That’s the aussie food run down so far. Hopefully our days on beans are limited and when we get to the east coast we can start getting stuck back into some proper tucker!

Buffalo Stance

Laos

I love a buffet… or as I am in Laos, should I really say “I love a “buffalo”et? I pondered this question after a very satisfying and I must say a rather educational lunch at Luang Prabangs’ one-off eaterie, Tamarind.

 Tamarind specialises in Laoation food and designs it’s menu in the traditional style so that you can cruise through ten exciting new dishes all in one sitting. As such, starters; main courses and desserts are obsolete. (in fact, they have a saying in Laos that only old people eat desserts. Apparently the softer consistency is  easier to eat without any teeth!) Everything is served at once, in the communal style, and it is up to you to pick out which dishes you prefer, which appeals to me as it lessens the odds of ‘food envy’ dramatically!

 

 (From top right: Sun-dried buffalo (sinh savanh); mieng; pickled greens and bamboo shoots, and Luang Prabang sausage (sai oua)

The buffet of our own creation, consisted first of a platter of five Laoation specialities, and here’s where the opening line penny drops, as buffalo tended to crop up in more guises than I had previously given it credit for. Although hardly surprising really when you consider that in these parts of the world, the water buffalo is as familiar as a domestic cat is to us. You can hardly walk down the road without happening upon one cooling it’s haunches in dark muddy pit, making it only natural that they have learned to draw on and utilise every last bit of this wonderful indiginous resource.

 An An array of buffalo products at the Luang Prabang market from dried-out skin to liver and meat.

The first incarnation was that of sun-dried buffalo meat (sinh savanh). It was dark red, dry and chewy and looked like something that a cowboy might spend three days chomping his way through, but was surprisingly sweet and tasty. 

 Next up, we came across a buffalo or lam, which is a speciality stew dish from Luang Prabang. A staple of the jungle or village people, this was a fairly Spartan dish of a water-based broth made slightly more substantial by adding sticky rice and eggplant, with chilli wood, lemongrass and a mixture of indigenous herbs added for flavour. We tried the traditional version but I am guessing that in the jungle, whatever variation of ingredients come to hand would be acceptable!

But the real ephiphany was the Mekong river weed and spicy chilli dip (jaew bawng).The river weed, which we had seen the youngsters collecting along the  riverbanks the day earlier, was dried out into thin strips and sprinkled with sesame seeds. And the dip, mmmmm, the dip! This was a thick sticky condiment made with red chillies and a special ingredient…..buffalo skin! Seriously, this stuff was so moresih, you could bag it up and sell it on street corners!

 

Mekong river weed and jaew bawng

Only one more question remains, of which I am sure there is a perfectly good answer seeing as though they are supporters of head to tail dining……how does one prepare a buffalo snout?

 

A day in the life

Laos

November 2009

A curious change has come over us these past couple of months and I think it is now fair to say that we have become inverted food snobs! Not to sound too full of ourselves but in London we had the opportunity to dine out in some of the best restaurants that the capital had to offer. These days going into a restaurant and simply ordering a meal somehow seems way too pedestrian and we are not happy unless we are poking around a random alley or the outskirts of the local night market for the next food adventure!

Luang Prabang Night Market
 
A typical day might include a saunter down to the local crepe stand for a banana and Nutella pancake. The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast!

Oodles of noodles is usually on the menu for lunch. Our favourite in Luang Prabang is made by Thongmoun Aunt, a diligent woman of a certain age who operates from a little wooden shack on the road leading out of town. Here, she conscientiously knocks up the most amazing kao soi, a local dish made of rice noodles topped off with a flavoursome ground pork topping. It’s up to you to add the snake beans, herbs and lime and if you fancy up to four different types of chilli – sauce; crushed; paste and fresh. I was in the middle, one day, of liberally applying all four to my dish, assuming it was the done thing, when I was surprised to observe that the locals didn’t actually put the little fresh chillies into their soup, rather they ate them whole dipped in a highly pungent shrimp paste throughout their meal. Hmmm, maybe I will save that experiment for next time!

Thongmoun Aunt noodles
 

When noodle fatigue hits home, a refreshing Laos Papaya salad is just the ticket. Freshly pounded in a pestle and mortar right before your very eyes, It just doesn’t get more fresh and delicious than this. And this is where the street vendor has the edge over the average Jo restaurant. When you buy from a street vendor you can see and smell the ingredients before you decide to part with any cash, whereas in a restaurant, you never know what you are going to get before it lands on your plate.

A handful of papaya and a pinch of chilli...

...and pound into oblivion!
 
But night-time still seems to be the time when the real adventure begins! A typical walk down a Laos night market might throw up a nice little appetiser of large green chillies stuffed with mince pork and garlic…

One stuffed green chilli for me!

Or a Luang Prabang sausage (sai oua) which looks like your average cocktail variety but is so sweet that you could squirt some cream on it and call it dessert!

Another regular plate-filler in these parts, but a new one on me is a tasty little burger made of water buffalo.

mini water buffalo burgers

The main event usually culminates in some good old fashioned BBQ’d fish or chicken with crispy smokey skin to die for.

But no meal is finished without dessert. Out here I like to end my days as I start them – with a banana! Who knew the humble banana had so many guises!

Whether it’s a banana shake made extra naughty with coconut cream or just a plain old battered banana in a coating that’s crunchy and chewy at the same time or my new favourite discovery of coconut-banana rice balls, sweetened sticky rice balls rolled in desicated coconut and wrapped round a gooey morsel of banana.The banana rules ok!

shake it up!

Coconut banana rice balls

So there you have it, just another average day in Laos, time to roll off to bed…and dream of tomorrow’s adventure!

Kiss a frog....

Vietnam

31^st October 2009

…and you may end up with a prince. Eat a frog and you may realise how goddam tasty it is!

Oh yes, after flirting with the idea these past few weeks of trying something a little bit more daring, last night we took the plunge.

The Bia hoi could have had something to do with it, as upon arriving in Hanoi we discovered the backpackers nirvana – draught beer for the equivalent of 10p a pint, served at make-shift bars on practically every street corner! All any wannabe bia hoi seller needs is a keg of beer and a couple of plastic chairs and you are in business. Me likey!

Bia hoi in action

And so it was in embracing this quaint Asian custom that we found ourselves going along with our rather persuasive 14 year old waiter. Maybe he thought it would be funny to watch the farang eat Kermit, but whatever was on his agenda, we were up for providing tonight’s entertainment!

All the menu said was ‘frogs legs in sauce.’ Yummy! So I was expecting to have to dredge through a gloopy sauce to find my webby treat. What arrived was quite different – a light, crispy soy sauce coating with a soy and chilli dip.

Kermit dining

Now, I have had les cuisses de grenouilles a Paris, they were quite refined and sleek specimens with a little nibbles worth a piece, but these bad boys boasted the thigh equivalent to a Kermit Lingford Christie, but with the sweet, juicy texture to those of a 16 year old virgin (or so I am told!).

Kermit Lingford Christie

To say they were like chicken is a disservice to the frog. But for comparisons sake, let’s just say it was the juiciest, most succulent ‘chicken’ I have had for a while!

Once we were ‘legless’ we turned our attention to the remaining articles left on our plate: Dark, green warped looking crisps….after a moments consideration it was down the hatch with the crispy fried frogs skin and another unlikely delicious treat awaited! Comparable to frog crackling or, as Rob put it, frog flavoured quavers! 

Robs first taste of frog flavoured quavers!

And so, it was with ‘a springing our step’ that we set off on the rest of our bia hoi tour around Hanoi. So far, so tasty! And in a city like this, who knows what’s round the corner…! 

Hoi An, Vietnam

Vietnam

23^rd October 2009

Contrary to my expectations, my first impressions of Hoi An, were at best disappointing. Fair enough, it was a grey, drizzly day we were trying to make the best of, but all we had encountered for streets and streets so far was the dispiriting sight of middle-aged Westeners in pac-a-macs and of aggressive Vietnamese shopkeepers barking “You buy something!” as soon as you stepped within a 5 metre radius of their shop. Seriously, they really needed to hone their sales technique!

So, like Carrie Bradshaw, “I had to wonder…is this the best that Hoi An had to offer?” Where was the oldey worldy charm, quaint buildings and riverside bustle that I had heard so much about?

Of course, weather aside, my Hoi An blues could have had something to do with a night of insomnia spent on a night bus from Nha Trang, only to find out that our new lodgings were at Prisoner cellblock “H”uy Huong Hotel! Seriously, this place defied any smidgen of comfort, there were bars at the small high window and Mr. Cochroach and his extended family were already a permanent resident! Not what you need after you have been strapped to a pygmee-sized bed for the best part of 13 hours, our lullaby, the blaring horn of our mad max driver as he took on every other vehicle on the road, perhaps imagining himself to be Keanu Reeves in Speed!

Anyway, I digress, back to the disappointment! Of course, another reason that I was so excited about Hoi An was that it is supposed to be a foodie heaven and as this trip is rapidly turning into a culinary adventure as well as a geographical one, I really didn’t want to miss out on what Hoi An had to offer. So imagine my thoughts when we arrived at todays lunch destination – a side street BBQ down a backstreet alley!

It seemed busy enough so we plonked ourselves down and huddled under the awning from the rain. No need to trouble ourselves with a trifling matter such as a menu as within minutes our friendly waitress Mai, and who I supposed to be her elderly mother, were filling up our table with massive amounts of goodies! A great start and the brownie points just kept on rolling in! We were just about to have our first taste of Bahn xeo or Vietnamese rice pancakes to me and you!

By this point our table was filled with fresh salad and herbs, skewered meats from the barbie, rice paper, pickled vegetable and that lovely spicy peanut sauce that Mr.Thach had introduced us to in the mountains.

Bale Well barbie, Hoi An

Of course, once the shrimp and beansprout pancakes arrived we didn’t have a clue what to do, but no matter, Mai was on hand to take us under her wing! She expertly took the pancake and openend it out onto a piece of rice paper, filling with meat, salad and pickles. All that remained to do after that was to roll up and dunk away! I think we just found our new favourite bite!

So we left Bale Well with a heavy stomach but a light heart! The mood had lifted and with it came a new perspective of Hoi An – Oh, so there are the quaint shops, the beautiful little Chinese lanterns lighting up the riverside and over there, the bustling market. I think I am gonna like it here!

Toads on the Road!

Vietnam

19 – 22^nd October 2009

We are the Wandering Wilderbees! Free as birds, we have been roaming the Vietnamese Central Highlands for the last 3 days, the only way that they should be roamed, by motorbike.

We hired a Honda and a Vietnamese guide and off we went! Zooming through some of the best scenery that Vietnam has to offer. Coffee plantations on the right, pepper and fruit trees on the left, with the odd refreshing pit stop at a mountainside café to refuel our nerves and concentration levels with a sugar rush from the juice of mangled sugar cane!

Bobby drinking the mangled sugar cane!

Our trail was off the beaten track and as such we barely saw another Western face…or Western restaurant. With Mr.Thach at our side we went from humble roadside cafes to buzzing neon local restaurants that served up their one house speciality.

Breakfast however, as always, was a bit of a non-event. It didn’t reach the astronomical lows of the Can Tho International Hotel where we were offered Pigs Head Paste served up hot and in front of a very loud movie-screen version of a Steven Seigal film, but it was along those lines!

Lunch was usually good honest grub of chicken and rice. I don’t know whether or not it was because we had been blazing a trail on the bike in the morning, but by lunch time these simple meals tasted like absolute heaven, which is amazing really as these places were usually absolute shit holes! I am talking little shacks with dogs and chickens roaming around. The kind of place you would never dare go on your own but which, with Mr Thach at our side, seemed to work. 

Me and Thach in Dalat

Dinner time was usually when the real fun started! What’s more, whereas we thought we were getting a good deal eating at £3 a head, with Mr.Thach leading the way, we were eating banquets for £1 all in!

Something else which also hit home when eating out with Mr. Thach was just how much emphasis was put on shared dining. And this is where we encountered the Cha gio - a DIY feast of epic proportions!

Within minutes of entering tonight's chosen restaurant, we were served up with a baffling number of various dishes. We looked to Mr. Thach for guidance and he proceeded to assemble what my limited Western brain could only at first compute as Asian style fajitas!

Instead of tortillas, there was rice paper; peppers and onions were razor thin slivers of starfruit, unripe baby banana and cucumber; strips of chicken where sesame and garlic marinated BBQ pork and crispy fried rice paper rolls and the piece de resistance, the “salsa,” was a spicy peanut satay sauce. Roll it all together (with lettuce and herbs of course!) and enjoy! 

It was only half way through eating that we realised that we had just encountered another marvellous variation of our new friend the spring roll! Although,in my opinion, calling a Cha gio a ‘spring roll’, is a bit like saying Danny De Vito and Arnold Schwarzanegger are brothers in “Twins,” we all know they are supposed to be related but as for any real similarity - no chance!

On the second day Mr. Thach had another trick up his sleeve, he was intent on getting Rob to down some scorpion wine, which is legendary in these parts for a mans potency...

...however this seemed to loose something in translation as Rob was asleep 5 mins after this picture was taken! Some discretion was called for the next morning when Mr Thach asked 'Good night huh? How many hours??? What's a girl to do but to laugh out loud?!... don't think Rob was too pleased!

As if to build up Robs strength the next day (he he!) Mr.Thach had a mountainside banquet laid on for us. Even with our huge biking appetites, a party of ten bikers would have been satisfied with this!

Mountainside banquet

There were grilled prawns; marinated chicken pieces; (I don’t know what part of the chicken they were from, but it didn’t really seem to matter!) pork done three ways – flattened and grilled with sesame seeds; crispy belly pork and minced and stuffed inside a bitter winter melon (interesting!). All accompanied by vegetables – pickled and cooked and a massive bowl of rice. I tell you, after that lunch, with me on the back of the bike, it was a wheelie all the way down the rest of the mountain!