one leg each

SE Asia - The Verdict!

With the dust well and truly settled on our South East Asia leg, this may seem a bit late but we wanted to get our 2p in before we forget we were even there….

We covered 6 countries in 3 months and it’s been pretty amazing from start to finish. SE Asia has given us wonderful grub, fantastic weather, stunning scenery and lovely people but I think we both agreed that it was time to move on!

Being a bit geeky we’ve been rating and discussing things as we’ve travelled, from food to sights so we thought it fitting to provide a snapshot of what we really thought of the countries we’ve visited – just so this hole thing doesn’t get to gushing.

Before that we just have a couple of things to attend to with regards to the Troll Cup, Faye and my ongoing battle to out do each other. Previous Troll cups have included who can ski the fastest, who will try a certain rancid dish, underwater swimming and a particularly vicious game of swingball – in true Asian style its all about not loosing face.

The Troll cup going to the winner!! 

So far we’ve had the Durian Challenge (Draw - just trying to eat one of the most disgusting smelling and tasting fruits on the planet) The Chile Challenge (Faye – who can handle eating the most raw chillies and The Dare Devil Challenge) and throwing yourself off the biggest scary looking thing into some water (Rob)!!

So without further waffle, here are the scores on the doors!

Cambodia

For – Cutest kids in Asia (don’t you know it Angelina); The Temples of Angkor; fascinating but brutal history.

Against – Beaches are shit; food is a poor relation to the rest of the region.

Rob 3 Stars

Faye 3.5 Stars

 

Bayon - Angkor Wat

Vietnam

For – Some of the some best food we’ve tasted; cloud touching mountains, great cities, stunning natural beauty – Vietnam provided the greatest range of scenery; mega cheap.

Against – also some of the most disappointing food we had; slightly aggressive people “you buy something!!!”

Rob 5 Stars

Faye 4 Stars

 
 Beer Hoi - Hanoi

Laos

For – The most untouched by tourism; Dramatic, rugged and beautiful vistas; Loads of fun! Friendly people; Surprisingly brilliant food.

Against – Sometimes a bit too chilled out; Bus rides (Faye); Vientiane – the most unremarkable capital we’ve been to; more expensive than it needs to be.

Rob 5 Stars

Faye 5 Stars

 Nong Khiaw - Laos

Thailand

For – The secluded and paradisical Trang Island; Vigorous massages; blood red sunsets; amazing diving;

Against – Phuket; ugly over developed tourist spots; farang safe food; disappointing night life.

Rob 4.5 Stars

Faye 4 Stars

 Koh Lipe - Thailand

Malaysia

For – friendly people; some decent cheap hawker stand food; Cheap internet

Against – Langkawi – a boring, uninspired tourist trap; KL, uninspired capital city; getting hit with a massive stick while on a bus; below par beaches; overpriced.

An old brothel (and our hotel room) - Penang, Malaysia

Star rating system

0 stars – Terrible

1 star – Poor

2 stars – Average

3 stars – Good

4 stars – Very Good

5 Stars – Excellent 

Crabmania

Cambodia

9th October 2009

Eating crab is not something that you would suggest for a first date. First of all, it's messy. I mean really down and dirty messy. Your hands are the first casualties, followed by your face, then the table and everything else you touch in the meantime. Finger bowls are for wooses in Kep! Secondly, and this is the part that comes when Crabmania reallysets in, (second day in a row and I think I qualify) you start to take real pleasure in ripping that crustacean limb from limb; finding the best way to crack and extract the most meat possible and sucking those sweet little slivers of crab from their hidey holes. So yes, it's unfortunate really, but one of lifes' certainties that no-one finds a carniverous slobbering beast attractive on a first date!

Luckily, I had no such ladylike restraints on me tonight, which is why we found ourselves, torch in hand, picking our way along the muddy beachfront crabshacks at Kep.

We'd had it on good authority that we could have picked any one of the crabshacks for dinner and we wouldn't have been disappointed as all the seafood was fresh from the ocean and straight onto your plate. The problem was - none of them appeared to be open! Sure the were a few lights on, but no-one seemed home, apart from several small groups of people collected round rustic BBQ's who looked like they could be rustling up tonight's family dinner.

We'd almost made it to the end of the crabshacks and our torch still hadn't picked anything up - had we left it too late? It was only 8.30! And then, second from last, we saw light....we saw people....we saw crab!

Two people were just leaving, so we made a beeline for the freshly vacated best seats in the house which looked out onto the inky black ocean below.

As soon as our waitress appeared, we didn't muck about, we knew we wanted a repeat performance of our Kampot crab experience as we just couldn't believe that something that good could be repeated. Turns out, we were right. It couldn't be repeated. It had just been bettered.

There are few meals where your attention is solely focussed 100% on the food, as after an initial register of delight or apathy, the rest somehow disappears off your plate without you really tasting it. Well, every mouthful of that Kep crab was met with "mmmming," "aaahhhhing" and "So Good!" that no part of it went unrecognised.

With this dish, not only was the crab salty fresh, but the Kampot pepper sauce was the perfect compliment. Whereas in Kampot, the crab took centre stage and the pepper was a mere bed for it to lie on, at Kimbly and Thmorda in Kep,  the fresh green peppercorns were integral to the dish and were there to be eaten whole and in abundance! Finger Lickin' Good!

 

So after tonight, Crabmania is still going strong and to prove it we are going back to shack heaven tomorrow for seconds...or is that thirds?!

Ta Eou, Kampot

Cambodia

7th October 2009

Imagine a quaint wooden restaurant on the riverfront of a small, picturesque fishing village. Now imagine that restaurant with a massive hole slap bang in the middle of the dining area. Floorboards uprooted and splayed higgley-di-piggeldy all over each other, a thin red piece of cord marking out it's existence, giving diners, cramped round the edge of the hole, a decent view into the river below. Welcome to Ta Eou!

A local pamphlet had pointed us in the direction of Ta Eou, which had apparently earned itself an excellent reputation for freshly caught seafood. Upon entering, we had to agree that the several boisterous tables of locals getting stuck into lashings of plump langoustines and large, local crabs settled onto springy green beds of Kampot pepper, all washed down with the local fire water, seemed to suggest that we come to the right place!

We skirted our way past the hole to our table and waited for the attention of one of the many school girls, who seemed to be running the joint together, to serve us. After a cursory look at the menu, we did what we knew we were going to do upon entering and submitted to a case of "We'll have what they are having."  Unfortunately, the school girls were unwilling to hand over the big, juicy prawns of our neighbouring tables, so we had to convince them of our worthiness, whilst compromising on their method of cooking: "Grilling take to long." Luckily for us roasting was fine. It didn't make sense but as long as we got the biggies, I didn't mind.

When the prawns arrived, they were big but a little bit too roasted for my liking. Maybe they should have grilled them for a shorted time for a better effect, but hey, I said I wasn't going to complain!

The vegetable noodle dish we ordered came in the form of stir-fried squid and vegetables and the rice that we didn't order came served, stone cold out of a massive colander by one of the school girls. A request by Rob for hot rice was met with the insolent stare of "Whatever Mr!" that only a teenager can pull off!

BUT, and there is a big BUT, the crab was absolutely sublime. I have always been of the school of thought that crab was just more trouble than it's worth - all that cracking, slurping and getting your hands dirty seemed like too much effort for a mediocre return. But that was before I had tried Kampot crab. The crab had been strategically cracked already, so all that we had to do was dig in, and due to the lack of other edible options now crowding our table, we did so with gusto!

The crab meat was like nothing i have ever tasted before - sweet, delicate and succulent. And the great reward of discovering a full juicy claw in tact and ready to be slurped out of it's hidey hole was worth a toast!

So we left our school girl hosts and headed off back to our guest house. It had been a unique night to say the least but I would go back there in an instant to have another feast on that crab. The only reason why i think we'll hold off for now is that tomorrow we head to Kep, and the crab out there is supposed to be even better!

Kampot Ribs

Cambodia

 

7th October 2009

 

Leaving the disappointment that was Sihanoukville behind, we headed east to Kampot. It’s a small town with a lovely riverside setting, the Elephant Mountains dominating the views from all angles. After looking around at some very cheap guesthouses (we’re talking $6 a night) we eventually settled on Rikitikitavi, a $30 place, it was felt that by a certain member of the team the cheapo places weren’t up to standard… I think we can all read between the lines here!

 Rikitikitavi did have a great riverside setting, but we preferred the relaxed homely feel of The Rusty A-hole, I mean Key Hole… and enjoyed our first decent sunset of the trip as we enjoyed some happy hour drinks.

 To combat the apparently inevitable weight gain this trip was going to subject us to, we decided on an early morning run the next day. What was supposed to be a gentle 20min jog around town turned into a mini comedy of errors on my behalf. A mixture of lack of decent signage and a male bloody mindedness not to turn around meant that I ended up running out of town for about 10 min, convinced there would be a left turn somewhere. The heat was intense by now and I found a railway track headed back towards the river so I could finally make the left turn. Trains in Cambodia are pretty much non existent and the few that are around move at 20mph so there wasn’t any real danger, a point perfectly illustrated when I met an escaped cow on the track that looked perfectly at home. However the track was veering off to the north and away from the river so I had to take a little short cut through a farmers paddy field (my run had turned into a walk by now) and what started out as a nice little walk soon descended into a wade through the mud, all the while with an image of some irate farmer with a gun finding me! I did hit the town eventually and had to endure the walk of shame, beetroot face, covered in mud – the locals all finding the sight quite amusing!

 The Rusty Key Hole was famous for its ribs, so we ordered the full slab for 2 later that night – now ribs have disappointed in the main as far as I can see, but these bad boys were immense. For a start the ribs came with half the pig still attached and just when we thought we were finished we found the actual ribs that would normally pass for a meal. They were succulent, bbq’d to perfection and Cambodia added a surprise string to its burgeoning food bow.

Cambodian BBQ at the Rusty Keyhole

Sihan"sucks"ville!

Cambodia

5th October 2009

Cambodia isn't really well known for it's beaches, and after spending some time in Sihanoukville, I now know why!

There is very little actual "beach" to speak of in this coastal town, in fact, there should surely be a new, more befitting word to describe the scrappy, metre-wide piece of litter-strewn sand, lest it give the wrong impression!

Ever the optimists, and not willing to write it off immediately, we picked our way along the beachfront over huge fallen down trees, a massive cracked concrete water pipe spewing it's contents into the sea and various bits of random flotsam and jetsam that looked like they had been there for a while and that would be there for a while longer! A true test for any Optimist!

We picked out the least offending spot we could find and settled down to enjoy what was looking like turning out to be a rather sunny afternoon. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but one of the main reasons that we head to the beach is to lie back, chill out and feel the warm rays of sunshine on your skin. No fear of that here! Relaxation is quite possibly the last emotion that you are going to feel as you fend off the utterly relentless bombardment of every kind of seller, trader and service provider possible. From manicurists to masseurs; kids selling bracelets to men selling fake sunglasses.

Never have I felt more like a walking dollar sign than I have here and as such the shutters come down and the defence mechanism of ignorance kicks in. This then leads to the inevitable guilt and self-introspection on how to best help in a country as a tourist, when you can't be expected to buy every product and service pedalled at you from the street?

That said, one persistent and very charming Cambodian lady did manage to get to me before the cynicism had fully kicked in and talked me into having a pedicure. After days walking around in calf deep sludge in Siem Reap, she didn't have to work too hard to convince me! She did an amazing job and turned my ten little piggies into sparkling jewels, whilst charming and up-selling me into several other little treatments while she was at it!

So, all in all, Sihanoukville wasn't the light-hearted beach bum existence that we had envisaged, we will leave that for Thailand. If asked to recommend a nice beach to someone in the future, I would rather suggest Redcar than Sihanoukville. You can get a good portion of chips there and when there is a cataclysmic thunderstorm, at least you are expecting it!

Pitch Dark

Cambodia

3rd October 2009

Before arriving in Phnom Penh it’s fair to say we didn’t have high hopes for the place, it sounded dirty, noisy and without much to recommend it, we were here to learn more about the brutal Khmer Rouge at the Tuol Sleng genocide museum and Killing Fields before making a swift exit.

We arrived by bus from Siem Reap, it took about 6 hours and yes it was raining when we arrived… I was beginning to enjoy the bus rides though, it’s always a nice way to see the country and they were comfortable enough. It also felt nice to be the only tourists in sight - we did get plenty of curious looks when you pull into the Cambodian version of a service station (An improvement on the Moto scam stations on the M1) but the real insight into Cambodia travel comes from the TV entertainment on the bus.

This is how my ignorant western eyes processed it all… Imagine a town hall packed full of about 400 people (All sat on the floor) with a stage at the front,  from which a glamorous woman and chubby man entertain the audience while advertising household products… stick a camera at the back of the hall and then film it! This was the bus entertainment for the 6 hour journey. Whatever it is, the Cambodians absolutely love it, literally roiling in the isles every time the portly chap said anything!

Anyway we check into our ‘boutique’ hotel to find our room leaking in 2 corners, the pillows on the bed damp all the while some builders welded something in the foyer accompanied by sparks flying into the standing water! The reason we came to Phnom Pehn was really to see the Genocide Museum and Killing Fields so we planned our day around doing just that. The Museum was formerly a detention centre and torture house used by the Khmer Rouge from 1975-1979, more shockingly before this it was actually a school. S-21 was the primary dentention center throughout the reign of Pol Pot and it’s thought that around 2000 people were killed within it’s walls, but it’s main aim was to torture people before they were moved to the Killing Fields.

Walking around the ‘museum’ it’s impossible not be hit straight away by the horrendous crimes that happened here, the first rooms within Block A had graphic pictures of torture victims on the walls, with the original beds, shackles and instruments of torture within the same rooms. Walking around the now peaceful grounds, it’s actually quite easy to imagine the school it once was, which in turns makes the whole experience even more chilling. We learnt how the old school apparatus was used to hoist people up by ropes, dangling them upside-down until they lost conscience, before plunging them head first into a combination of fertilizer and dirty water.

We moved rounds the different blocks, rooms filled with photographs of the detainees, some shockingly young (Babies and children were killed so there was no chance of revenge missions) all forced to have their picture taken while strapped to a chair. We moved upstairs to the exhibition, here was detailed information on the people behind the Khmer Rouge, their education in France, their background as Math’s and Geography teachers and the quite frankly shocking fact that 4 people are only just been tried for their crimes against humainity – and only one, Duch (The chief operator at S-21) admitting any blame in the atrocities.

We left the Tuol Sleng genocide museum feeling pretty tired but better for the experience, I still have unanswered questions but the museum is a visceral reminder of how a regime brutally ripped apart a country and it’s people.

We needed to complete our journey so moved on to the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek, 12km outside of Phnom Pehn. This was the site for the mass genocide the Cambodian people were subjected to by Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. Choeung Ek acted as the execution based for people being moved from Tuol Sleng and it’s estimated that 20,000 people lost their lives here, as soon as you enter the site you immediately see the aftermath of the senseless killing – a glass case stacked full of the skulls of the victims. Walking around the site there is an eerie quality, a quietness that is only interrupted by the distant sounds of school children playing nearby. I don’t know why there is a school next to such a place, maybe it’s a way of confronting the pitch darkness of the past, but when you are reading about the inhuman actions of soldiers killing babies and children by slamming them into a tree, it makes for a truly disturbing experience.

After leaving the Killing Fields we headed for some proper Cambodian street food (More of this in our food section) and contemplated what we had experienced, the senseless murder and torture of a nation by a brutlal regime aimed to purge the nation of capitalist sensibilities – even after 30 years how it happened still doesn’t make any sense. We left Phnom Penh in a completely different mindset, it's an intriguing city with the best food Cambodia has to offer and an atmosphere that belies it's tortured past.

The Temples of Angkor

Cambodia

30th September 2009

We could be forgiven for forgetting that we had walked straight into the Cambodian Monsoon season, our first day was hot (obviously) & dry and Eric, the owner of our guesthouse told of the sunny days they'd just had, this couldn't last.

Rain! Lots of it. My experience of rain is grey skies, cold weather generally making life a little bit depressing - in Cambodia rain is just funny. The roads become massively swamped, the rivers flood the near by houses - what this all means is that the motorbikes and tuk tuks just drive a little bit slower, including us on our knackard old bikes trying to avoid the mini wakes created by the many bikes.

All this rain meant that we were on our last chance to visit the temples - we had declined the chance of the 5am start on wednesday because of the relentless rain, so we decided come rain (No!) or shine (Please!) we would go on Thursday morning.

No ones wants to take the blame but we ended up waking up at 3.40am and couldn't get back to sleep, so we had some breakfast and set out for Angkor at 5am! We saw 5 temples over our 50km journey taking in ruins & rubble, awesome ancient Khmer architecture and some sights that Indy would feel at home in. You really do get a sense of the magic and skill involved in their creation and if anything the rain added to the atmosphere.

Angkor Watt

Bayon

Ta Prohm (The Indiana Jones one!)

The day ended with us slumping into bed, smelly, exhausted but completely satisfied.

Welcome to Cambodia

28th Septemver 2009

So, we completed the much hyped-up and dreaded route from Thailand to Cambodia without too much of a problem. We were told to come armed with "snacks and patience", which we did, but found that four hours of "fly catching" worked just as well!

The Cambodian side of the road has now been finished, so that was one problem down, but the border towns didn't disappoint with scams aplenty! Visas, money changing, taxis - you name it, they have a scam for it! But we managed to dodge the majority. high five!

So after an 8 hour journey the day before, we thought that the sunrise trip to Angkor Wat could wait one day and we decided to explore Seam Reap by bike, during which we stumbled upon an out-of-the-way temple and had our own impromtu guided tour by an off duty monk!

Then the first travel fail - pointless trek to "floating village of Kompong Phhluk". If we had to summarise it in one sentence, we would say, far from the "fantastic fun" as advertised by the Lonely Planet (and our new Dutch travelling buddy Rick) it was 2 hours of dreary boat trundelling finished off by some uncomfortable gawking at some non-plussed Cambodian river dwellers! I was embarrassed to be in the gawking tourist category, especially after keeping it real with Mr.Monk earlier in the day!

Floating Village of Kompong Phhluk

Street Food Success!

Cambodia

3rd October 2009

Finally, our persistence has paid off and today we had our first taste of authentic and delicious street food. I can sleep easy tonight!

After an intense day in Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh, totally engrossed in what we were experiencing, can you believe we forgot to eat? So one waft from a roadside BBQ and we were rapping on the roof of the tuk tuk to pullover.

We passed over the more adventurous chicken gizzards on sticks or the alternative of the whole bird from whence it came and settled on the slightly more familiar barbequed chicken breast. Our roadside chef bagged it up for us with a squeeze of lime, some fresh sweet chilli sauce, complete with coin sized pieces of garlic, a bag of herbs and a smattering of a salt and Kamput pepper mix.

Street-side BBQ Phnom Penh

It was only after wolfing it down that we looked at each other and said: “Should we have done that?” and nonsensically consoled ourselves with a liberal application of anti-bacterial hand gel!

Spurred on and determind to fulfil today’s self–set challenge of eating for two for under $5, we headed for Psar Thmei (Central Market). The first great spot was of something that resembled an inside-out thai fish cake! By that, I mean that instead of the green beans being at home on the inside of the fish cake, they took centre stage in a little bundle while the shrimp paste bound them together. Deep fried and dipped in a double whammy chilli sauce (sweet chilli, layered upon normal chilli) & you got yourself a tasty little morsel!

Green beans wrapped in shrimp paste - Psar Thmei

Next to be hunted down were the coconut, chive & rice flour dumplings – crisp on the outside and soft on gooey on the inside. At first, we were slightly suspicious of the seemingly out of place little bowl of cloudy coconut milk that accompanied it, but following the lead of the locals, we added a splash of chilli and fish sauce and dunked the fluffy little balls in. Somehow the sum of all parts added up to something unusual and moreish, bringing together sweet, spicy and salty all in one go.

Kanom Krok-alike (coconut and rice flour dumplings)

Stuffed by this point, but not quite ready to let a trifling matter like that stand in the way, we paid one final pit stop to the fresh noodle vendor, who was whipping up fat, juicy noodles topped with fresh greens and a fried egg. And the best thing? Not even a Cambodian beef supernoodle in sight!